Gintama wouldn't be called Gintama without the parodies
by PrincessofChina07
Summary: "Why is Kagura always the main chracter in these damn fanfics? Did everyone already forget whose name is in the title of this damn anime?" "That's because I'm obviously better than you Gin-chan uh huh." "Don't worry danna, at least your not her love interest." "WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING? AND WHY IS YOUR CHARACTER COOLER THAN MINE?" Ratings changed for some potty mouths (;. OkiKagu
1. Chapter 1

**Alright guys! This is my first and I'm so excited to get this baby going! For awhile now, I've wanted to contribute my own work to the Gintama fanfic community, and it's all thanks to ****Jeimii-chan2009**** for inspiring me to write this! So I decided to make this fic, based of my all time fav Disney movie, Mulan. The plot of Mulan is still there, but there are some changes because I didn't want the characters too OOC, and I wanted to keep that classic element of Gintama humor. So I hope you enjoy it folks!**

**BTW i do not own Gintama, the great Sorachi does. Gintama is too awesome for me.**

All is quiet on the Great Wall of China. A lone guard is in the middle of patrolling, when the quiet, peaceful night is interrupted by a screeching falcon that knocks the guards helmet over.

"Huh?" The guard is bewildered to see a creature like that in these parts. As he continues to gaze at the bird, the bird lets out another screech, and as if on a cue, a grappling hook from the dark side of the wall, attaches itself to the wall's side.

The guard cautiously peeks over the edge, and from the abyss, thousands of more grappling hooks are launched into the air, attaching themselves to the wall's side.

The guard panics in sudden realization, "We're under attack! Light the signals!" Before he can make it up the ladder, two militia men attempt to attack him, but fail. As the guard is about to light the signal, a dark figure jumped onto the top of the watchtower. The figure stood up, revealing himself to the guard. The guard, despite his fear, lit the signal. Soon all the tops of the watchtowers were burning a bright yellow.

"Now all of China knows you're here!" the guard said staring straight into the Kiheitai's leader's eye.

The leader, took one of the flags and placed it in the fire, watching it catch fire with a maniacal smile on his face. "Perfect."

* * *

"Your majesty, the Kiheitai have crossed our Northern border," reported General Kondo Isao, and he knelt before Emperor Shige-Shige.

"Impossible!" No one can get through the Great Wall!" cried the one-eyed man?

The Emperor raised a hand to silence his frantic advisor.

"Shinsuke Takasugi is leading them." The Emperor immediately understood how extent of the situation. Kondo then continued, "We'll set up defenses around your palace immediately."

"No." The Emperor stood, "send your troops to protect my people." He then turned to his advisor, "Kyuubei."

"Yes your highness?" answered the one-eyed advisor.

"Send conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible," he ordered. The Emperor then headed towards Kondo.

"Forgive me your majesty," Kondo started in concern, "but I believe my troops can stop him."

"I won't take any chances General," the Emperor tried to reassure Kondo, " a single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat."

* * *

"Quiet and demure," said a girl with vermillion hair and bright blue eyes, that stared down at the complete writing on her arm.

"Graceful. Polite," the girl repeated. The girl then stared at her breakfast, which was a bowl of rice, and began to viciously chow down.

"Dericut…...rehined…...poiys….." she said in between chews, attempting to actually remember.

The girl finished her bowl and finally shouted, "Punctual!"

COCKADOODLEDOO!

"Uh oh." The girl quickly sprang up from her bed and ran to her threshold, "Sadaharu!" she called out. She kept running around the halls of her house while calling out, "Sadaharu! Sadaha–" she immediately stopped as soon as she spotted a large white fur ball, we all know this to be her one and only monster dog.

"There you are!" The girl called out in a cutesy voice and held her arms open as the larger than life size dog leaped into her arms with joy. "Who's the smartest doggy in the world!? C'mon smart boy." The girl looks at Sadaharu in a loving way and pats his head "Can you help me with my chores today?" The girl attaches a bag of feed to Sadaharu, "Sadaharu, if you run all the way around the farm and feed the animals, I'll tell Papi to buy 5 bags of your favorite food for you!"

The dog was immediately convinced and sprinted out of the house without looking, ending up in another large hole in the wall by none other than the girl's monster dog.

Meanwhile, a very bald, and familiar man was on his knees praying to the ancestors in the family shrine, "Honorable ancestors…..please help Kagura impress the Matchmaker today."

Suddenly Sadaharu runs by, jumping over the shrine and making it rain animal feed on the shrine. As if on cue a herd of chickens come from nowhere and eat at the feed scattered on and inside of the shrine.

The baldy looks around at the destruction while wearing a distressed look. Sweat drop and desperately looks back at the shrine and is bowing and begging at this point "Please! Please help her!"

Umibouzu gets up and decides to find Sadaharu and stop him from littering the garden with animal feed, and run into none other than the most likely cause of the chaos, "Papi I brought you some…..oops!" Before the teapot could hit the floor, the baldy caught it on reflex, but he couldn't get the cup in time and watched it crash to the floor.

"Kagura…"

"I brought a spare," Kagura said patting herself on the back for being so prepared.

"Kagua," Umibouzu tried to get a word in, but Kagura remained oblivious.

"Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning …" Kagra said in a motherly way as if lecturing her husband, while she poured him tea.

"Kagura," the baldy tried again, but still didn't work.

"... and three at night." Kagura finished pouring the tea and smiled ever so angelically at her Papi.

"Kagura, why are you still here? You should be in town…..today is the day…" the baldy trailed off knowing what reaction he'll recieve from his daughter.

Kagura stared at her Papi as if she had no clue what he was talking about and pulled a piece of sukonbu from her sleeve and began to chew on it, "Well Papi, you weren't exactly clear on the directions….I thought this whole 'meeting with the matchmaker was optional." Kagura stated with pure and utter nonchalance as she turned away and began to balance on the bridge's side that went over her pond.

Her father stared at her back for a while and sighed, "Kagura…..we've been over this. You're already sixteen, and I'm getting close to the age where I can't take care of you anymore. You have to find a husband soon so he can take the burden off you. He'll take care of both you and your Papi! Won't that be nice Kagura!?" Umibouzu tried to say in the most convincing way possible. Sadly for him, it won't work on his strongly independent daughter.

"No! That sounds like years and years of torture! Why can't we stay like how we are now?" Kagura was beginning to get teary eyed and looked at her father, "Mami said I'll never need a man because I'm strong like her and Papi!"

"Kagura…" Umibouzu started, "I know this is difficult…...but please, it's our only option I have left…..If we stay like this….we'll be in a tight spot because people with think badly of you if you can't find a husband. I don't want to push such responsibility on you, but I don't want you to be looked down upon. I just want you to be happy…."

Kagura looked at her father's pleading look, _'People aren't that cruel right? I mean I have Anego and them...They won't think badly of me and think of me as dishonorable right?'_ She looked deeply into her father's eyes and finally gave up seeing how desperate he was, _'I just have to see the matchmaker right? It's not like she'll match me with anyone. I'll just meet her so Papi won't be sad…'_

"Ok Papi," Kagura finally said, "I'll meet with the matchmaker."

Umibouzu finally sprang up and hugged his daughter tightly, "Thank you Kagura! Now get to town! We're counting on you!"

"To uphold the family honor….. I know," she stuck her tongue at her father and began to head in the direction of town, "Wish me luck Papi!" And she was off.

**Alright…..so how was it :)? Sorry if its not like completely true to Mulan, but I didn't want the Gintama characters to become the Mulan characters. It felt too OCC for me, so I tried my best to keep true to the movie while also keeping true to the character's of Gintama. If you liked it, look forward to the next chapter! its coming soon! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to Hayal Kurmak, ****Jeimii-chan2009, murasakiana, and LordVanity for reviewing my piece and sticking around for the chapters to come!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters**

The town was bustling and busy. Full of people either doing their daily duties or families preparing their daughters for their meeting with the woman who will determine their fate.

"Otae, has Kagura come yet?" A woman with long blonde hair asked. She blew out a puff of smoke and continued, "The match makers not a patient ma…...woman." she quickly corrected herself.

Otae was growing worried and impatient, "Of all the days to be late! I should've made a peace offering to her ancestors for good luck."

"How lucky can they be? They're dead." The purple haired woman remarked. Otae simply deadpanned at her. "If you didn't want Kagura to be late then you should've listened to my suggestion and let her stay the night."

Otae gave the purple haired megane an 'are you serious look.' "First of all she'd have nowhere to stay. I work long hours and Tsukuyo's work keeps her away all night."

"Wait! What about me!? You purposely skipped over me didn't you!?"

"Sacchan…...I don't consider you an adult. Your irresponsible, and we wouldn't want Kagura to see what you do on your spare time." Otae smirked at her.

"Ugh! I'm truly offended! Well whatever we're here now and if you're so worried about 'luck,' I have the perfect solution!"

Both women stared at Sacchan in confusion and curiosity. Suddenly, she pulled a useless-looking man from nowhere who was dressed in a cricket suit. Their interest was immediately lost and the women went back to whatever they were doing to begin with.

"What's with that reaction!? I'll have you know that this guy's pretty lucky! He successfully lured a crowd of customers to try the fried crickets at the food stand over there!" Sacchan was trying to explain, pointing at the stand, and desperately get the other two women's attention.

"Um excuse me…." The giant human-cricket was trying to speak, "can you let go of me? I have to get back to my job….I kinda need this."

"Shut up you Madao."

"...My name's Hasegawa….."

"Anyway! I'll prove to you just how lucky this Madao is!"

"This Madao thing is starting to get hurtful...I mean I know that was my seventh job of the day but….."

The poor Madao was cut off by Sacchan pulling him down to whisper something to him, "This is your chance to prove yourself!" Sacchan shut her eyes and began to guide herself into the midst of the busy streets, all the while holding onto a screaming Hasegawa.

"Sacchan! No!" Otae watched in horror and in what felt like eternity Sacchan emerged from the cart wreck in the streets.

"Yup this one's a lucky one!" Sacchan yelled in triumph while Hasegawa fainted once they were back on the sidewalk.

Otae shook her head in disbelief at this. She suddenly heard what sounded like a dog barking, and realized it was Kagura riding Sadaharu towards them. She then hopped off, "I'm here!"

Otae looked at her in slight annoyance, "What? But Anego I had to—"

"None of your excuses!" Otae brought Kagura into her house and the other two women followed, "Now lets get you cleaned up."

_Suddenly the beginning of Honor to us all plays_

**This is what you give me to work with? **

**Well honey I've seen worse.**

"Hey!" Kagura yelled

**We're going to turn this tomboy**

**Into a silk purse**

"...Um….Anego what's with the music?"

"Don't pay attention to it Kagura-chan, just sing your part when it's your turn," Otae gave her trademark smile as Kagura climbed into the larger than life tub.

**We'll have you, washed and dried**

**Primped and polished till you glow with pride**

**Just my recipe for instant bride**

**You'll bring honor to us all.**

Kagura climbed back out of the tub and was instantly pushed to the next station where Tsukuyo was waiting for her

**Wait and see, when I'm through**

**Boys will gladly go to war for you**

**With good fortune**

**And a great hairdo**

Tsukuyo tied Kagura's hair up in a trademark bun*

**You'll bring honor to us all.**

All three women sat her down and began to take out the materials for the next step of the transformation.

**A girl can bring her family**

**Great honor in one way**

**By striking a good match**

Sacchan tried to take out her "tools" but Otae swiftly knocked her out.

**And this might be the day.**

**Men want girls with good taste**

Otae smiled to Kagura flashing her the kimono that she and Tsukuyo prepared

**Calm**

Tsukuyo added while helping Kagura dress

**Obedient**

**Who work fast-paced**

**With good breeding**

Sacchan added appearing from nowhere and that resulted her with a kick to the face by Otae

**And a tiny waist**

Tsukuyo sang tying the yellow obi tight; Kagura gasped at the sudden loss of air

**You'll bring honor to us all.**

Tsukuyo began preparing the make up, and Sacchan once again tried to incorporate her "tools" in the process receiving another kick from Otae.

**We all must serve our Emperor**

**Who guards us from the Kiheitai**

**A man by bearing arms**

**A girl by bearing sons**

**When we're through,**

**You can't fail**

**Like a lotus blossom, soft and pale**

Otae and Tsukuyo sang while applying the makeup.

**How could any fellow say, "No sale"?**

The sudden intrusion by Sacchan earned a kunai to her head.

**You'll bring honor to us all!**

Otae placed a metal headdress that was gold with a red bead to match her kimono and smiled at her, "There, you're ready."

"Not yet!" Sacchan chimed in, earning her a deadpanned look from Otae.

**An apple for serenity**

**A pendant for balance**

**Beads of jade for beauty**

**You must proudly show it**

**Now, add a cricket, just for luck,**

"Excuse me I really need to get back to my job," Hasegawa tried to protest, but Sacchan already leashed him to Kagura.

**And even you can't blow it! **

Sacchan winked at her.

**Ancestors, hear my plea,**

**Please don't let me make a fool of me**

**And to not uproot my family tree**

**Keep my Papi from going bald.**

Kagura noticed the other girls headed towards the matchmakers place and scrambled to follow, opening her trademark purple umbrella.

**Scarier than the Undertaker,**

**We are meeting our matchmaker!**

Kagura joined the line of girls and Otae, Tsukuyo, and Sacchan, along with other guardians and parents followed after the girls

**Destiny, guard our girls,**

**Help our future as it fast unfurls**

**Please look kindly on these cultured pearls**

**Each a perfect porcelain doll ...**

**Please bring honor to us**

**Please bring honor to us**

**Please bring honor to us**

**Please bring honor to us**

**Please bring honor to us all!**

The girls brought their umbrella forward to hide themselves and kneeled before the door of the matchmakers office. Which looked a lot like an okama bar…

Suddenly the doors open, and out comes the matchmaker with a clipboard in hand…..who bears a strong resemblance to….

"Good afternoon, my name is Mademoiselle Saigou, I will be serving as the matchmaker."

Everyone in the crowd tried to hide their surprise reaction…..while Otae and the others looked somewhat disgusted and disappointed at the same time.

"Anyway, before it gets too late…...Yato Kagura?!"

Kagura sprang up with delight and yelled, "Present!"

Mme. Saigou looked at her clipboard and began to write…..most likely docking her off points, "Speaking without permission."

"Oops.." Kagura entered and the matchmaker closed the doors harshly behind them.

"Do you think Kagura-chan will be alright?" Otae held her cheek in concern.

"Don't worry! Kagura's a strong-willed girl! She can handle herself." Sacchan said reassuringly.

"That may be so Sacchan, but….." this sentence caught the attention of both women and they stared at the blonde smoking her pipe in curiosity. Tsukuyo blew out a puff of smoke and then continued, "she's also blunt…..the matchmaker's pretty...outspoken...and this may provoke Kagura to fight fire with fire."

The other two women suddenly understood what their friend was referring to. Both began profusely praying that the cricket would live up to its name and hopefully prevent Kagura from saying anything stupid.

* * *

**And that's chapter 2! Sorry if it's short…..I'm not exactly sure where to cut it off haha, but that seemEd appropriate enough! Anyway! So I'm sure you all figured out that by "trademark bun," "yellow obi," and "headdress" I was alluding to the outfit Kagura wore when fighting in Yoshiwara (absolute favorite outfit of hers!), just longer. Not much else to say other than I will do my best to update as much as I can. School hasn't been too hectic so while I have the time, I'll do my best to update! Peace~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update once again friends! But I'm finally on winter break so that means more time I have to write and update! Super excited about that! Well heres Chap. 3, hope y'all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, its characters nor do I own anything that's Mulan**

Kagura walked in the building followed by Saigou. She was beyond nervous, hoping that she would at least be presentable.

Saigou took a look at Kagura and turned back to her clipboard, "Too flat."

That comment stabbed Kagura in the heart.

"...not good for the infant…" She continued to write in her clipboard and paced forward.

"Excuse me…" the cricket-human was trying to whisper to Kagura, "I know this is a bad time, but you see, I really need to get back to me job. This costume's a rental.."

"Oh! Sorry about that!" Kagura quickly apologized as she untied the leash.

"Thanks. So where's the exit?" Hasegawa was looking around trying to find the way out.

"About that…...you kinda can't leave until the matchmaker's done matchmaking…"

"What!? But I have to get out now! You don't understand! If I'm not there to turn in my costume by the end of this shift, I'll be-"

Kagura quickly threw Hasegawa, conveniently landing in a large vase, out of sight from Saigou. She beamed at Saigou, and slightly freaked out by her overly-happy smile, Saigou cleared her throat, "Um…..anyway…...recite the Final Admonition."

"Um of course," Kagura took a breath and began, "Fulfill your duties, calmly and….."

While peeking at her "cheat sheet," Kagura suddenly noticed Hasegawa trying to leave and when Saigou turned her back, broke her jade necklace and began to shoot the beads at Hasegawa.

"...respectively." Kagura stopped and continued with her award winning smile as soon as Saigou turned to her, sensing something was off. (S)he shrugged it off and continued toward the other room.

Kagura caught Hasegawa as he was in arms reach and began to wrestle with him to subdue him, "Um, reflect before you ... snack….." Kagura realizing her mistake quickly corrected herself and stuffed Hasegawa in the nearby plant pot, all before Saigou to turn and catch them. "Act! This shall bring you honor and glory."

Kagura let out a sigh of relief as soon as Saigou turned, but hearing this, Saigou quickly looked at Kagura and studied her face to see if there was any sign of her cheating. Satisfied, Saigou turned to the table in the center of the room and presented Kagura with a tea set, "Now, pour the tea."

"To please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity….."

"Ah! Shit its hot!" Kagura yelped as she tried to cool off her hand that she used to try to pick up the pot with.

Saigou gave her a glare and continued, "And refinement…" Saigou turned and continued her speech.

Meanwhile Kagura still preoccupied with the impossible task of pouring tea, she heard a whisper from the tree's pot.

"Excuse me, it's getting kinda late, and I really need to get back to my job before I'm fired again."

"You can't leave now or the matchmaker will notice something's up! (S)he already suspects me of cheating (which I actually did), but if she sees you trying to leave, she might think YOU helped me!"

"But I can't stay here! I have to get back to my job!"

"I said you can't! What does it matter!? You're probably a Madao anyway!"

*Ouch. Critical hit to Madao.*

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm ruining your "matchmaking process," but in the first place I was dragged here against my own will, so I have nothing to do with this madness! If you excuse me I'm leaving."

Before Hasegawa could even make a move to the door, Kagura took her pendant Sacchan gave her (along with other random accessories), and threw it at Hasegawa, throwing him off balance, resulting in him falling back into the tree's pot.

Saigou turned back around and concluded her speech, "...you must also be poised….." (S)he gave Kagura a "wtf" look seeing that she was in a "I just threw a frisbee" pose.

(S)he sighed and indicated to Kagura to hand her the cup of tea to try to move things along.

Almost forgetting what she was even doing, Kagura quickly poured Saigou her cup and gave it to her with a smile. Saigou took the cup and drank slowly, as if searching for errors in her tea.

With Saigou preoccupied, Hasegawa took the chance to sneak from the pot, grabbing a vase that was conveniently next to him, with a wicked smile plastered on his face.

Kagura was so busy with observing whether or not the matchmaker was impressed with her, that she barely realized Hasegawa looming over Saigou.

"IF I KNOCK HER OUT THEN I CAN GET OUT OF HERE WITHOUT A HASSLE!"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Quickly reacting before Hasegawa could carry out his deed, Kagura jumped onto the table and tried kicking the vase upward and away from Saigou's head. Unfortunately for her, she should've kept the pendant for balance.

Kagura slipped on the hem of her kimono, her fall, redirecting her kick to the bottom of Saigou's tea cup. The tea splashed all over her face, making her makeup run. Luckily she didn't get hit with a vase.

Instead, Hasegawa jumped back, avoiding the tea, but the weight of the vase tipped him backwards, tripping over a fire pot, spilling the coals with him landing butt onto them.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Hasegawa yells in pain, and runs around with a now on fire butt.

"Why you CLUMSY!" Saigou tries to reach for her, but is shoved by a panicked and running Hasegawa.

"Time to go" Kagura tries to run away, but Saigou gets in her way.

"You're not going anywhere, you brat! Look what you've done to my beautiful face!"

"Pfft! Beautiful!? I did you a favor!" Kagura smirked at the matchmaker.

"YOUUU LITTLLEEE!"

Meanwhile outside of the building, Hasegawa's screams of pain, and Kagura's and Saigou's battle cries could be heard.

"Well…" Sacchan turned to Otae, "I think it's going well, don't you?"

Suddenly, the two burst from the doors, in a battle ready position.

"Get ready to face my wrath little girl-" before Saigou could finish, Hasegawa ran in a mad frenzy out, bumping into Saigou, and both fell into the puddle next to Saigou.

Fortunately, Hasegawa's butt was cooled, but unfortunately, Saigou's mood took a turn for the worse.

Kagura watched in horror as Saigou got up to proclaim news, that Kagura wouldn't like to hear. Hasegawa instantly feeling the dark aura from Saigou, ran for cover behind the Sacchan and Otae.

"You…...are….. a DISGRACE!"

The crowd and other maidens watched in fear an enraged Saigou and gasped.

"You may look like a bride, but you will NEVER bring your family honor!"

That comment hurt Kagura, and she looked around at the crowd. The other parents and daughters disbanded and began whispering to themselves about Kagura. Feeling this, Kagura hung her head in defeat and utter embarrassment.

She walked off toward the direction of her house. Otae and the other two woman stood there speechless and unsure of what to say. Sacchan began to say something, but Otae stopped her, indicating that now's not the time.

* * *

As soon as Kagura got home, she was met with an enthusiastic look from her father. He looked hopeful, and was about to ask how was the meeting, but she looked away in the same defeat and embarrassment and takes Sadaharu to his dog house.

_Start of "Reflection"_

**Look at me..…..I will never pass for a perfect bride**

**Or a perfect daughter**

Kagura spots Otae and the others telling Umibouzo about what happened with the matchmaker.

**Can it be?**

**I'm not meant to play this part?**

As she makes her way to her garden, Hasegawa spots her and follows her, feeling partially guilty about what happened.

**Now I see**

**That if I were truly to be myself**

**I would break my Papi's heart.**

**Who is that girl I see**

**Staring straight back at me**

**Why is my reflection someone I don't know**

**Somehow I cannot hide**

**Who I am, though I've tried**

Hasegawa follows her to her family's shrine to see that she's praying.

**When will my reflection show**

**Who I am inside?**

**When will my reflection show**

**Who I am, inside?**

Kagura leaves the shrine and sits at her favorite bench under a cherry blossom tree.

She sees her Papi coming towards her, and he tries to smile at her again, but she rejects his comfort.

"My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year," he looks to see if he's gotten Kagura's attention. With no luck he tries again, "But look, this one's late." Now she's definitely listening and looking to where he's indicating.

"I bet when it blooms," Umibouzu picks up a blossom that has fallen and places it in Kagura's hair, "it will be the most beautiful of all." Kagura cheerfully smiles at her father.

In the distance, what sounds like drums are getting closer.

"What's that?"

"Stay here Kagura."

Umibouzu walks out, followed by Otae and Tsukuyo. Before Sacchan went out, she signaled at Kagura to go on the roof.

From the roof, Kagura could see Imperial Soldiers, and another weird woman-man making a proclamation.

"Citizens! I bring a proclamation from the Imperial City! The Kiheitai have invaded China! By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army"

Kagura watched as one by one as each man of the family was being called up, fearful of hearing her family name, and at the same time bracing herself to deal with the pain.

"The Yato Family!"

"Papi...no…." Kagura had to do something.

Umibouzu walked toward the advisor accepting the call, "I am ready to serve the Emperor."

"You can't go!"

Umibouzu stared in shock at his daughter who came running to stop him, "Kagura!"

"Please, my Papi has already fought for-"

"Silence! You will do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence."

"I highly doubt you're a man…."

Kyuubei grew red at that comment, "T-th-that's..That's beside the point!"

"Kagura," She looked hopefully at her Umibouzu, "You dishonor me."

Kagura stared hurtfully at her Papi, and watched as he accepted the death sentence.

"Report tomorrow at the Shinsengumi Camp!"

"Yes sir."

Kagura just simply stood there and watched Umibouzu walk back in the house, while in the background, names were continued to be called.

* * *

While washing up for dinner, she passes her father's armor room. She sees him open a large dresser revealing his uniform and sword from the crack in the door. He unsheathed the sword and he attempts to practice techniques with it. For a moment, Kagura is in awe.

Umibouzu's arm suddenly stiffened, and he drops the sword and him to the ground. Kagura almost cries out but suppresses it. She sees him roll up his sleeve and take at his prosthetic arm for any damage or problems.

* * *

At dinner, Umibouzu peacefully ate his food, despite the killer intent coming from the opposite side. Sadaharu kept quiet, and chowed down on his food.

Suddenly Kagura sets down her tea cup with a bang, grabbing the attention of Umibouzu and Sadaharu.

"You shouldn't have to go!"

"Kagura."

"There are plenty of young men to fight for China!"

Umibouzu takes a breath before he snaps, "It is an honor to protect my country and my family."

"So you'll die for honor." Kagura answers sassily

Sadaharu watches nervously at the two bickering

"I will die doing what's right."

"But if you-"

"I know my place," Umibouzu suddenly snaps at Kagura, causing her to flinch at his words, "It is time you learned yours."

Kagura storms out in tears.

*Sigh* "You understand right Sadaharu?"

"Arf!" Sadaharu walks out to his dog house

Umibouzu looks at the open door and leaves for his bed, hopefully thinking that his daughter needs time to calm down.

* * *

Kagura sits at her favorite and quietly cries to herself. She catches a glimpse of herself in a newly formed puddle, but shuts her eyes tight and continues to cry.

She stares at her house and see her Papi turn off his light and tuck himself to bed.

She looks carefully back at her reflection in the puddle. She notices the flower her father put in her hair is somehow still there. With that, her decision is final.

Kagura walks into her Family Temple and makes a small offering and prayer. She leaves and sneaks into her father's room, taking the scroll and leaving the flower.

She changes into her basic training clothes* and goes into her father's armor room. She takes the heavy looking boots, his brown gloves, goggles, and his long brown cape to complete her look.

She ties her hair up in a bun, and takes one last look at herself in a nearby mirror. Satisfied, she heads to Sadaharu's dog house and wakes him, making sure he stays quiet.

Kagura takes one last look at her house, "Take care Papi." She opens her umbrella and their off.

**Ok so I was gonna actually keep it going for a little while, but I decided to cut it off here. Mostly 'cause it's 2 in the morning and I'm tired =_=. Which is also why this chap is probably not that great :P. So quickie, the basic training clothes is the pants and long sleeve with the yellow piping of course so I'm sure its not hard to imagine at all you Gintama fanatics you :3! Yea, another quick change, I changed "Huns" to "Kiheitai," mostly cause I was getting confused lol. So to the point, next chapter is on its way, sit tight for for now! Ja nee~~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Pretty excited that I can get this chapter out quickly! I present Chapter 4 my cute little readers :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama its characters and same goes for Mulan and any other characters I mention in this chapter.**

"Ugh! I can't believe they have me working in this kind of weather! I don't care if I'm a ninja! I'm a woman as well and woman need to be treated with delicacy!"

Sacchan was on her way home after completing a mission. It was a long day, and even longer night; especially because she was not provided a ride back home and had to walk back home, with only a flimsy paper umbrella to shield her from the rain and lightening.

"I can't believe they didn't even give me a horse! Do they care for their employees at all!?"

*Cue lightening and thunder*

"EEEEKKK!" Sacchan quickly found safety under a rock, "Ugh! I swear when I get home and change into DRY clothes I'm going to send those bastards a strongly worded letter-"

Before she could finish, she was nearly run over by a large white furball.

"GAAHH!" She narrowly escaped getting hit and turned to see who was it, "WHO THE HELL!?"

Before she could continue her rant, she realized that that big furball was strangely familiar. She tried to run after it, but the furball proved to be faster. From the distance she was at now, Sacchan could see a person with a heavy brown cloak and a very familiar purple umbrella….

"No way. It couldn't be!? Naahh, Kagura-chan wouldn't be out at a time like this, she's always complaining about how she needs her beauty sleep." Sacchan just merrily continued on her way home and tried to push that image out of her head.

However she couldn't. Something about that scene didn't seem right…."Ha…...ha ha ha…..It's not like she had this determination to protect her father and crossdress as a boy, joining the army in his place right? Yea of course not! That only happens in movies!"

Reassuring herself she continued on. Sacchan realized that Kagura's house would be on the way before she would reach hers, "THIS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE THAT THE FURBALL CAME RUNNING FROM THE DIRECTION OF KAGURA'S HOUSE."

Sacchan prayed that it wasn't true, but once she hit Kagura's house and saw that her front gates were wide open, all the pieces were starting to fit together…...and she freaked out.

"UMIBOUZU-SANNN! KAGURA IS GONE!"

Sacchan ran in the house like a mad women looking for Umibouzu.

"What is that sound!?" Umibouzu woke up from the racket Sacchan was making and went out of his room to see what was wrong.

"Umibouzu!" Sacchan desperately called out, "Umibouzu! Umi-"

"What!?" Umibouzu had found the source of the noise and angrily answered back at the woman who had rudely woke him up.

Sacchan ran over to him and tried to explain, but just couldn't get the words out.

"Umibouzu! Kagura….Sadaharu…...crossdress….."

"Sarutobi, what are you talking about? Who crossdressed!?"

"Furball…"

"Sadaharu crossdressed!?"

"No!" After taking a breath and collecting herself Sacchan simply explained, "Kagura's gone!"

"What…" Suddenly Umibouzu had this horrible feeling in his gut and prayed that it wasn't true.

He ran to his room, hoping to see the scroll, but only found the flower he put in his daughter's hair that afternoon. "No…..It can't be…"

Umibouzu runs outside,"Kagura! No-" he drops in pain from the sudden chill and his prosthetic stiffens up again.

"Umibouzu!" Sacchan runs to him and quickly helps him up, "We have to go after her! She could be killed! I'll go with Tsukuyo and Otae and we'll bring-"

Umibouzu stopped her, "If we reveal her..she will be.."

Sacchan could see how broken hearted Umibouzu was, and in this desperate situation, did the only thing she could, "Ancestors, hear my prayer. Watch over Kagura."

* * *

In the Family Temple, the head tombstone begins to light up, and as if it was a portal a figure steps out from it. The figure takes out a cigarette to light. She takes a puff and points at a bokuto thats on display, "Gintoki. Awaken."

On cue the bokuto shines a silver light from it, and the bright light lights the whole temple. light even leaks through to the outside.

The Head Ancestor stood there and continued smoking, waiting for _him_ to come from the light. And she was completely disappointed when the light stopped shining and no one joined her.

She calmly put out her cigarette and walked over to the stand that was displaying the bokuto, and kicked it, "What the hell do you think you're doing!? Huh!? I just called you out and you completely ignored me!"

She picked up the bokuto and began hitting the ground with it, "Don't try and play dead with me! I know you're awake you lazy ass perm! Get your ass out here now!"

With a final strike, the bokuto flew from her hands, and shone silver again, and a figure formed. The bakuto reappeared again, this time hanging on the hip of a permed haired man.

"What do you want now Otose? I was taking my nap. You know throwing this thing," the silver perm indicated to the bokuto, "actually hurts ya know?" He rubbed the back of his neck in pain.

Otose, completely out of patience whacked Gintoki over the head, "You lazy bum, shut up and listen…."

"Don't worry old hag, I get the picture."

Otose's cigarette dropped from her mouth in utter shock, "Yo-you do?"

"Of course! Their brat daughter ran off to go join the army and get herself killed…"

Otose was beyond impressed that Gin actually understood the situation.

"...And you want me to protect her right?" Gin finished his explanation with a gleam in his smile and fully impressed with himself.

Otose deadpanned and just kept staring at him, "Gintoki…"

"Hold on old hag, I'm not done," Gin took out his bokuto and pointed it upward in a triumphant way, "anyone foolish enough to even threaten this family, vengeance will be mine!"

"Gintoki!" Otose lost it for a second, then quickly composed herself and explained to the silver permed fool, "Gintoki, these are the family guardians," she motioned above their heads to a bunch of stone Justaway statues, "They….."

"Protected the family."

"And you, O Demoted One…."

"I…..ring the gong….." Gin indicated to and oversized gong in the corner of the Temple

Satisfied, Otose lit another cigarette, "That's right, now do your job."

*Sigh* Gintoki had his bokuto in hand, and began to swing hitting the gong, "Alright you lazy sons of b #*%&$! Get your asses up! SLEEPY TIME'S OVVEERR!" Gin yelled while angrily ringing the gong.

Just like with Otose's tomb, the other tombs did the same and the rest of the ancestors came out.

Soon Gin and Otose were joined by the other ancestors who had very familiar faces.

"HA-HA-HA! I knew it! I knew that Kagura was going to be a troublemaker from the start!" a woman in green dress with cat ears, who eerily looks like Guy Lee cried out.

"Catherine-sama, according to my data on this family's history and tree," said a woman with a robotic voice, "Kagura-sama inherited these tendencies from your side of the family."

"What!? Why you!" The two began to argue.

"Ah! That poor child! All she wants to do is help out her father! With such passion too! It makes me tear," A pretty boy with blonde hair, exaggeratedly cried out.

Both Tama and Catherine stopped their argument and stated in unison,

"Stop that Kyoshiro-san, it's disgusting."

"Stop that pervert, it's disgusting."

Kyoshiro soon joined in on their arguement, "I am not a pervert! I'll have you know I was China's top host when I was alive!"

An older man, dressed like a mechanic joined in on the discussion, "But if she's discovered, Umibouzu will be forever shamed. Dishonor will surely come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!"

Everyone stopped and just stared at him with an 'are you serious' look.

"Oh and we'll lose the farm." He nonchalantly added.

This furthered the argument as Catherine added, "Hah! My children never caused such trouble; they all became acupuncturists!"

"According to my accumulated data, only one in every four ancestor in our family was an acupuncturist. The statistic that any of those ancestors were your children is incredibly low."

Catherine grabbed Tama by the collar, "Oi! You wanna start something!?"

Gengai stepped in to calm things down,"Oi oi, Catherine calm down. Tama was simply stating that we all can't be acupuncturists."

"No….." another ancestor began with menace laced in her voice, "Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!"

"Whoa! What's with that sudden outburst Mutsu!?" Gengai exclaimed in shock.

Mutsu went into a fetal position and began to sulk, "I'm sorry, it's 'because everyone always mistakes me for a cross dresser. I don't dress like a man, it just happens that the clothes that I wear that are comfortable to work in are a tad masculine…"

Tama spoke again, "Wouldn't the most logical thing to do instead of fighting, to send one of the guardians to bring her back?"

Suddenly and idiotic looking man from nowhere jumped up with glee and exclaimed, "Hahaha! Yes that's a great idea! Lets send the most cunning! No wait, how about the fastest! Wait wait wait! The wisest!" The man looked around and pondered for a while.

"Oi oi! Kintoki! Do you think you could awaken all of them!?" The man was suddenly met with a fist to his face.

"Seriously!? Are you that stupid!? THE STATUES ARE ALL THE SAME!" Gin angrily exclaimed.

"There's no swiftest or most cunning or wisest! They're all the same!"

"So does that mean you can wake them all up Kintoki? Hahaha?" The idiot was knocked out at once.

"It's Gintoki! Damn that Sakamoto. Still gets on my nerves."

Otose raised an eyebrow at the scene, and blew out a puff of smoke, *Sigh* "Ok now that you're all calm, We won't send these guardians."

She seemed to get the attention of all of the guardians, including Gintoki, "We will send the most powerful of all…."

Otose was cut in by Gin, "Haha, ok ok. I get it, I'll go fetch the brat."

At that statement, all the guardians broke into laughter.

"What!? Why're you all laughing!?"

"Gintoki! You had your chance to protect the Yato Family!"

"According to the Family records, your misguidance lead Katsura-dono to disaster."

"Ahahaha! It's ok Gintoki! I have no hard feelings towards my own comrade! Ahahahaha!" Katsura happily sang with his head in his lap.

Gin looked at Katsura with some distress, "Haha, see…...just fine…..Anyway! What's your point!?"

"The point is, I'm going to send a real guardian to retrieve Kagura." Otose let out another puff of smoke.

"What!? I am a real guardian!" Gin grabbed at Otose's collar.

She took his hands and threw him out of the temple, and he was followed by the giant gong, "You're not even worthy of this thought! Now, awaken the Great Stone Elizabeth!"

"Ugh." Gin begrudgingly rolled the gong all the way down to where the Great Stone Elizabeth was. "Seriously, this duck thing is worthier than me!?"

Gin stared at the statue for a while, then decided he might as well quickly get it over with so he could get back to his strawberry milk, "Oi! Ducky! Wake up! You gotta go get that stupid brat!" The statue however remained unresponsive.

"Ugh seriously?" Gin found a rock and rolled it over in front of Elizabeth. Now he was at eye level, "Oi, seriously you gotta get up." He stared at the statue, but Elizabeth still didn't wake up. Gin grew anger marks, "C'mon I don't have time for this!" Nothing happened.

Gin brought out his bokuto and began tapping Elizabeth with it, "OOOOIIIII! ANYONE HOME!?" As he was continuously met with silence, Gin grew angrier and his taps, became strikes, "YOOOO! YOU NEED TO GET KAAAGGUURRAA!" Still Elizabeth didn't stir, "Hello! HELLO!?" That last strike caused Elizabeth's beak to break off.

"Oh shit." Gin quickly tried to place it back, but then he heard a cracking sound. He realized the whole statue started to crack and immediately what he had hoped wouldn't happen, happened. The whole statue fell apart.

"Haha you're just playing with me right Elizabeth? You were always such a kidder." All that was left was a beakless Elizabeth head staring at him. Sweat began to pour from Gintoki.

"SH* #&%!" Gin looked back at Elizabeth's head, "What am I gonna do!? That old hag's gonna kill me!"

"Great Stone Elizabeth!"

"Dammit! It's her!" Gin quickly looked around to see what he could do. With limited options, he did the only thing he could.

"Have you awakened!?"

"Uh, yes, I just woke up! Um, I am the Great Stone Elizabeth! Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Kagura! Did- did I mention that I am the Great Stone Elizabeth, haha?" Gin was holding Elizabeth's stone head in front of his own.

"Go! The fate of the Yato Family rests in your webbed feet."

"Uh...Yea! Definitely!" Gin began to walk away when Katsura called out from the window, "Elizabeth! Since when can you talk!?"

"Oh crap," Gin turned to the window, and tried to do his best to cover up, "Uh well…..you know…..that's just…..what a couple hundred years does to ya, y'know…." Sweatdrop from Gin.

Katsura looked confused at first, but clasped his hands as if he understood, "Oh! Of course how could I forget such a simple rule! My apologies Elizabeth! I wish you luck on your journey!"

"Haha….yea…" Gin said nervously and quickly dashed away.

* * *

When he was completely out of sight, he ditched the giant stone head, "What have I done now!? I'm doomed! It's all because that stupid wanna be man brat decided to take her ridiculous drag show on the road!"

Gin took a seat on a rock when a bush not too far from his began to rustle. He immediately reached for his bokuto, ready for whatever evil awaits, when he's suddenly meeted with an unfortunate looking man in a giant cricket costume.

"Oh hello…Do you by any chance know the way back to town?"

"Oh sure just down the road that way."

"Thank you so much."

Gin continued in his thoughts when the realization hit him, "Wait a damn second! What in the world are you!?" Gin grabbed the man by the collar, demanding his name.

"Hold on hold on! My name's Hasegawa! I'm an employee to the old man who sells fried crickets and this is just a costume!" He said in a pleading manner, hoping Gin would put him down.

"Sorry about that, I've just been on edge today."

"What's wrong?"

Gin immediately opened up to Hasegawa, "These damn greedy and demanding ancestors got me busting my ass for them left and right, and now I have to literally complete this IMPOSSIBLE task to save my face! I broke Elizabeth and now I have to retrieve that damn brat before she gets herself killed!"

"Well I mean…...all you have to do is go get her right?"

"Go GET her!? I'd have to bring her back with a medal to get back with the temple….."

Suddenly, Gin face was met with realization, "That's it!"

"What's it?" Hasegawa asked with a confused voice.

"I'll make Kagura a war hero, and they'll be praising and respecting me for life! I'll be the top guardian! That's the master plan!" Gin got up with determination and began to walk off.

"Uh yea...I guess….or you could do that…." Hasegawa stated nervously.

Hasegawa then called out to Gin, hoping to tag along and repay what he's done to Kagura, "Hey! Can I come along?"

"And why should you?" Gin called back lazily.

"...Because I'm lucky?"

"Lucky? You look like more of a Madao if anything."

"I know where she went."

"Lead the way."

**Alright guy! Heres Chapter 4! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm super excited for the next chapter, and what it has in store, cause honestly I don't even know what the finished chapter will end up looking like. So I'm gonna get started on 5 as soon as I can! Thanks for reading :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry Everyone! I had to go update my other stories and totally forgot about this one haha. My plan is to release chapters for every one of my stories evenly, though I'm hoping to finish this one soon, cause I'm really pumped to see the finished product! Without further ado, here's Chapter 5 enjoy!**

**I do not own Gintama or Mulan. AT ALL.**

"When do you think we can get out of this tree? It's getting really uncomfortable here."

"I don't know so quit asking!"

Two Imperial Scouts were staking out in a tree, waiting for any sign of the Kiheitai Army.

"This is pointless. It's been a day already. If they were using this road, we would've seen them by now!"

"Stop complaining already! They're a big army so of course it's gonna take time. Plus I've heard they don't have horses, so it might take longer than expected."

"Heh still…..Argh! It's so foggy! I can barely see two meters ahead of me!"

"Maybe if you get out of the tree you could see better?"

The men looked at each other realizing it was neither who spoke, and looked behind them. There an older man with solid pupils spoke without any emotion.

In a second, the two soldiers were knocked out of the tree and fell before the entire Kiheitai Army.

The older man spoke, "Imperial scouts, Takasugi-sama."

"Ta-Takasugi Shinsuke!" one of the scouts exclaimed.

"Nice work gentlemen. You found the Kiheitai Army." Takasugi smirked at the men, and the whole army broke out into a sarcastic laugh.

The second soldier stood up and glared at Takasugi, "The Emperor will stop you!"

Takasugi looked up from smoking his kiseru, and got right in the soldier's face, "Stop me? He invited me." Takasugi backed away and went back to smoking his kiseru, "By building his wall, he challenged my strength. Well, I'm here to play his game."

He looked back to the scouts and suddenly his eyes went from calm looking, to the look of a crazed killer, "Go!" The sudden yell startled the two and they got up on their feet, "Tell your Emperor to send his strongest armies. I'm ready."

Takasugi watched the two scouts scurry away. He then thought to himself and smiled, "How many men does it take to deliver a message?"

A blonde haired woman knew that was for her and she immediately held up her bow and drew back with an evil smirk, "One."

* * *

Kagura was in the forest just before the Shinsengumi Camp, practicing her "manly guise."

"Okay. Okay, how about this," Kagura was talking to Sadaharu and began in a deep voice, "Excuse me, where do I sign in? Ah, I see you have a sword. I have one, too. They're very manly, and strong!" Kagura tried pulling out her katana swiftly and effectively, but instead fumbled with it and it fell to the ground.

Sadaharu immediately jumped up and barked with amusement, but was stopped by Kagura throwing her shoe at the oversized dog.

"I'm working on it!" Kagura pouted while putting on her shoe, "Oh who am I kidding!? It'll take a miracle to get me into the army…."

"Did someone say 'miracle'!?"

From behind her, Kagura caught a glimpse of a figure within bright light. The light got stronger and stronger as the figure got closer.

"Argh! What is this!?" Kagura jumped back and hid behind a rock with Sadaharu.

"Hehe….What's this? Are you frightened? Can't even take a little light?" Gin noticed Kagura had a confused look and in the corner of his eye, he caught Hasegawa making shadow animals from the bright light.

He kicked him down ruthlessly and whispered to him, "What the heck are you doing!? You're ruining my cool entrance! The plan was I enter in backed by blinding silver lights and you hold them up! Not use them to make a fun puppet show!"

"Sorry, I just had to do something that would parallel to the movie."

"Oi this is a parody not a reenactment!" Gin smacked Hasegawa on the back of his head.

"Are you gonna stay or are you gonna work with me!?" Gin had anger marks all over him, and Hasegawa simply nodded and held the silver lights up once again.

"Ahem…...uh...anyway…..Get ready, Kagura, your sixteen halation is at hand, for I have been sent by your ancestors to guide you through your masquerade! So heed my words, cause if the army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is death!"

"Wh-who are you? How do you know my name!?"

"Heh, what a great question to ask, Kagura." Gin got closer to where Kagura was, and Hasegawa followed in suit, "I am the guardian of lost souls!"

Hasegawa noticed that the extension cords to the silver lights were running out. He tried to get Gin's attention, but he was too engrossed with his entrance.

"I am the powerful, the pleasurable," Kagura got up from her hiding spot, curious and in awe of the "shining silver man," "the indestructible…"

"Sakata Gintoki!" Right at that moment, the power cords were yanked out of its outlets and the lights went out, leaving a freaked out Hasegawa and indifferent Gin standing in the daylight.

"Huh? What is this? What happened? Where are the light?" Gin looked back to Hasegawa.

"The extension cord…..ran out…" Gin immediately kicked Hasegawa to the ground and beat him unconscious.

"Hehe, so sorry about that." He looked back at Kagura, who wore a bored look on her face, "You still think Gin-chan's cool right?" He pointed at himself with a goofy smile and laughed nervously.

CHOMP

Gin's face felt hot. Most likely due to the blood running down his face.

"AAAAHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING DOING!?"

Gin ran around trying to shake the oversize dog off from his head. Each time he struggled, the dog's bite force grew stronger.

"EEEEEEKKKKK! I'M GOING TO DIEEEE!"

"Sadaharu! Down!"

Sadaharu immediately let Gin's head go and ran to the comfort of his master.

"Damn dog…..don't you come near me anymore…." Gin said while trying to recover.

"Um…..sorry to ask again…..who are you?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? AFTER THAT WHOLE ENTRANCE TOO!?"

Gin rubbed his head in irritation, "Ah, whatever let me explain. Geez kids these days."

"Huh?"

"Look here, your ancestors sent me to protect you."

"My ancestors sent me a lazy looking perm head, and a useless cricket man hybrid to help me?"

"Let's get one thing straight, he came on his own. I had nothing to do with the cricket man hybrid Madao."

Although still on the ground Hasegawa heard the comment and tears started to run down his face, "I'm not that useless.."

"Then get your ass up! You Madao!" Gin and Kagura said in unison.

"Heh so you think I'm useless?"

"I never said that, I said you're lazy looking."

"Please your 1000 years too early to judge me, little girl."

"Again you're going on about a comment you made up about yourself." Kagura deadpanned.

"Look here!" Gin pointed and had a dramatic look in his eyes, demanding attention from Kagura, "My strength and powers are beyond your imagination!"

"Huh…" Kagura tilted her head to the side.

"These 'lazy looking eyes' can see straight through your clothes."

Kagura blushed heavily and grabbed Gin from the ankle and threw him away from her, "KORRAA!"

"AAAHHH!" Gin landed flat on his face and quickly got back up, "What the hell!? You crazy mountain child! That's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Hasegawa!"

Hasegawa suddenly popped up from behind Gin with a clipboard and pen, and eagerly began writing.

"Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your monster dog! Dishonor on Papi's bald head! Disho-"

"Ok! Ok Gin-chan I get it!" Kagura ran over to Gin, and stopped him from writing further, "I'm sorry…...I-I'm just nervous. I've never done something like this before…." Kagura looked down.

Gin sensing that the girl was being sincere smiled to himself. He got up and patted her head, "Don't worry too much kid." Kagura looked up to Gin, "You're just gonna have to trust me? Okay?"

"Mhmm!"

"Alright! Lets' do this!" Gin pointed up toward the sky and then looked over to Hasegawa, "Oi! Madao! Get the bags!"

"Roger that! Gin-san!"

"Let's go-" Sadaharu's teeth found it's way to Gin's head once again.

"Argh! Stop that!"

"Sadaharu!"

* * *

The four found themselves at the entrance of the Shinsengumi camp. Kagura peeked her head to get a glimpse. She immediately saw that the camp was full of men, and immediately discouraged, she tried to walk away discreetly.

Gin grabbed her by the collar, "Ah ah ah, that won't do Kagura. We're finally here. Let's show them your man walk!" Gin gave her a toothy grin and a thumbs up.

Kagura was pumped with energy, and stood straight, "Yes! Gin-chan!" She took off her cape, gloves, and goggles and left them with Hasegawa to hold.

Kagura strutted forward, in an awkward way, with Gin, leaving Hasegawa and Sadaharu to find a place to pitch a tent.

Kagura walked through the camp getting a feel for everything, and immediately felt disgust seeing the men…..well….act like men.

She held her mouth from puking, "They're disgusting!"

"Oi, brat don't go puking now. They're just being men, and you're gonna have to act just like them so pay attention."

Gin and Kagura continued to walk around when Gin suddenly spotted a soldier running to talk to two other ones. Gin pulled Kagura in that direction.

"Hey what are-"

"Shh! Look! At where the nicotine freak and megane are!" Kagura looked on to the soldiers Gin pointed out, that were not too far ahead of them.

"This will count as your 'Male Interaction 101'."

The two walked slightly closer to hear them talk.

"Hey you two!" The soldier running towards the other two said, only capturing the attention of the megane. "Look!" He ripped open his shirt revealing a tattoo of The Great Stone Elizabeth, "This tattoo will protect me from harm! I bet you two are so-"

Before the recruit could say anything more the man with the cigarette in his mouth kicked him hard, making him fly away from the two, "Protect you from harm? Don't be stupid." He lit up a new cigarette and his face wore a new demonic look, "This is war, silly trinkets like that aren't gonna get you anywhere. You should ask for your money back."

Gin and Kagura looked at the nicotine freak with a look of discomfort. Eyes twitching at the demonic aura the man put out.

"Better yet. Just go home you're annoying. We don't need annoying bastards like you on a battlefield."

"Uh.. Hijikata-san, that was a bit of an overkill." The megane stated, eyes twitching too.

Kagura gulped hard, "I don't think I can do this…"

"Huh!? What happened to that fighting spirit you had earlier? It's all about attitude!"

Gin pushed Kagura forward, "Just be tough! Like that demon guy." Kagura bumped into said demon guy, and Gin quickly hid away in a nearby bush.

"Aaah? What the hell do you want?"

"Psssst!" Gin called from the bush, "Kagura! Punch him! It's how men say hello."

Kagura looked at Hijikata hesitantly.

"What the hell are you looking at? Huh?"

Kagura decided to try it and punched him with what she thought was half strength, but was a full on punch.

Hijikata nearly knocked out, but bumped into and fell on his nearby comrade.

"Ah! Hijikata…...you're….crushing me…...and my racquet…." The man holding a badminton racquet squealed from below him.

Hijikata got up and dusted himself off, "Sorry about that Zaki."

"Psssttt! Kagura! Slap him in the butt. They like that."

"Huh!? Ew no way!" Kagura looked towards Hijikata in disgust.

"Look do you want to make friends." Gin gave Kagura a 'you have to do it' look.

Kagura hesitated, but went for it anyway. She slapped Hijikata, making him jolt and he snapped back at her.

"Oi! What are you doing? Are you trying to start something punk?" Hijikata grabbed Kagura from the collar and pulled his hand up in a fist.

"I'll kick your ass- Argh!" Hijikata was quickly grabbed and held back by Yamazaki

"Oh, ahaha Hijikata. This man was probably messing around! Weren't you?" Yamazaki looked up to Kagura with a sweatdrop.

Kagura quickly nodded.

"See! Now calm down Hijikata! Here! Let's chant! MayoMayoMayoMayo~"

"MayoMayoMayoMayo….." Hijikata immediately calmed down with the thought of Mayo.

_What the F? Mayo? Is he some Mayo lover? _Gin thought to himself in the bushes.

He shrugged off Yamazaki and began to walk away lighting another cigarette, "Ah you ain't worth my time, chicken boy."

Kagura was about to leave when Gin bursted out of the bush yelling angrily at Hijikata, "Chicken boy!? Say that to my face! You dog shit eater!"

Hijikata grew and anger mark and turned around to punch Kagura, "THAT'S IIITTT!"

Kagura quickly ducked and instead Hijikata hit the Megane.

The Megane's nose started to bleed heavily, "AAAHHH! What's your problem Hijikata-san!?"

Hijikata looked away with disinterest, "Oh sorry Shinpachi-kun, I missed." Hijikata looks around and finds Kagura, but is interrupted before he could catch her.

"Like hell you did!" Shinpachi kicks Hijikata and he lands again on top of Yamazaki, crushing him.

The two start fighting while crushing Yamazaki, "Hey get off of me you too!"

Hijikata spots Kagura's red outfit in the corner of his eye and stops their fight pointing towards her, "He's getting away!"

Kagura runs away and finds Gin next to her running too.

"Gin-chan! What do I do!?"

"Run! Duh!"

They both hear the three men close behind and try to run through a tent to confuse them. The three get stuck in the tent, and Kagura and Gin run out. The three gain on their tails again.

"Hey why can't they see you!?" Kagura angrily asks Gin.

"That's just one of my many divine powers I possess. Check this out!" Gin suddenly is engulfed in light and the light goes into his bokuto. Kagura catches the bokuto and belt left behind in mid air and is startled to hear the voice in it, "Pretty neat eh?"

"Ah!" She nearly drops it, but holds on to it and slings it on her waist, keeping it in place with the belt.

"Hey don't get distracted now," Gin's voice speaks up from the bokuto, "Watch out there's a line of people ahead of you!"

Kagura looks up and makes a sharp turn, narrowly missing the line. The three chasing her weren't so lucky and run into the food line and all the men in line go down, including the chef and his pot of rice creating a huge mess.

Kagura looks over the huge mess she just created, and nervously backs aways at the crowd of angry men walking towards her.

"Haha….hey guys…"

* * *

Inside the Captain's Tent, a discussion of strategies is being discussed by the men heading the camp, and operations to take the Kiheitai down.

General Kondo was seated in front of a large board with a map of the mountains of China, "The Kiheitai have struck here, here, and here." Kondo placed tiny Justaway pieces to the locations of the attack, "I will take the main troops up to the Tung Chow Pass and stop Takasugi before he destroys this village."

"Excellent strategy! Surprises are always the best strategy." the advisor Kyuubei exclaimed.

"Hmph." Kondo smirked with amusement and closed his eyes, "You will stay and train the new recruits. When Kyuubei-san believes you're ready, you will join us ... Captain." Kondo opened his eyes and looked to his adopted son.

His 'son' had a look of surprise on his face, "Kondo-san….." were all the words he could mutter.

"Oh!" Kyuubei processed what had just happened and objected, "This is an enormous responsibility, General! Perhaps a soldier with more experience? Or a _real_ man?"

"Kyuubei-san, please." Kondo got up and continued to explain, "Sougo has been number one in his class, has extensive knowledge of training techniques, and not to mention his technique with the sword is unbeatable!" He turned to Kyuubei, indicating "he" write this down on "his" clipboard, "I believe Okita Sougo will do an excellent job."

"Kondo-san!" Okita got up from his seat and bowed in front of Kondo, "I promise I won't let you down!"

"Haha! Why are you being so formal!? There's no need for formalities Sougo." Kondo patted Okita's head, surprising him a little.

Okita raised his head to look at Kondo.

"After all, you're technically my son." Kondo gave a whole hearted laugh, and was also unable to hear Okita.

"Kondo-san, I don't think it's possible for Gorilla's to be the father of such a handsome face."

"Ah? You say something Sougo?"

"No. Nothing Kondo-san."

"Well anyway, we'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City." Kondo turns to Kyuubei, "I'll expect a full report in three weeks." He then walks out of the tent.

"And believe me, I won't leave anything out." Kyuubei walks out.

"Tch!" Okita is about to head out of the tent when he thinks about Kondo's words, "Captain….Captain Okita Sougo. Leader of China's finest troops. No, the troops of the Legendary Super Sadistic Handsome Captain, Okita Sougo. Yea that sounds more in-character." He chuckles to himself and heads out of the tent.

What he sees though nearly gives him a heart attack. The troops-to-be were fighting amongst each other, in a complete frenzy. One of the soldiers dazily sweeps by them, saluting the General.

While trying to walk away he falls unconscious and falls into Kyuubei. Kyuubei's "man phobia" kicks in and immediately freaks out.

"AAAAHHHH!" She catapults the guy to the other side of the camp.

"Wow….." Okita deadpans.

Kondo heads over to his horse and gets on, "Good Luck! Captain! Yah!" He rides off, with his troops following behind him.

"Good luck…...Kondo-san."

Kyuubei stands next to Okita and pulls out her clipboard, "Day One"

Okita looks at her annoyed and walks to his troop. "Soldiers!" He demands angrily.

The soldiers stop simultaneously. They spread away revealing a cowering Kagura, "He started it!" they point and say in unison.

Okita holds his head as if he just got a headache and approaches Kagura, "I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp."

Kagura looks up at to see Okita leaned over to her. Startled she gets up, but tries to keep her composure, "Uh sorry….."

Kagura quickly catches herself and coughs remembering that she has to be a "guy" now.

She deepens her voice and starts again, "I mean, sorry you had to see that." She remembers Gin's coaching and playfully punches Okita, but he just raises an eyebrow at her. "Hehe….but uh... you know what it is when you get those manly urges... just gotta KILL something. Fix things...cook outdoors..…"

Annoyed at her chatter, Okita sharply cuts in, "What's your name?"

"Uh…...huh?"

Kyuubei immediately gets in her face, "Your commanding officer just asked you a question!"

Okita was slightly surprised at the fact that Kyuubei just got close to a _man. _But he quickly disregarded that and turned his attention back to the unnamed soldier.

"Oh…...Uh yea…..I've got a name... and it's a boy's name, too."

Kagura hears Gin's voice from the bokuto, "Oi Kagura, how about Shinpachi?"

"His name is Shinpachi." Kagura whispered and discretely directed with her head who 'Shinpachi' was.

"He just looks like a pair of glasses to me." Gin nonchalantly states.

"Hey!" Shinpachi yells out, feeling like someone, somehow offended him just now.

"I didn't ask for his name I asked for yours!"

"Uh…..uh….Ah-chu!" Gin shouted in the spur of the moment.

"Ah-chu." Kagura repeated.

"Ah-chu?" Okita looked at Kagura with a bit of confusion.

"Hehe….Gesuiti…..I kill myself."

"Gin-chan!" Kagura angrily whispered.

Okita caught her whisper and questioned again, "So it's Gin-chan?"

"No…" Kagura looked away in embarrassment.

For some reason, her looking away ticked Okita off, not to mention the name confusion. "Then what is it!?" Okita angrily demanded.

Gin was obviously no help. But with a stroke of genius, Kagura thought of her "man-name", "It's Gura."

"Gura." Okita sighed, slightly relieved he finally found out the damn brat's name.

"Let me see your conscription notice."

Kagura willingly hands over the scroll to Okita.

"Yato Umibouzu. THE Umibouzu?" Okita looked up at Kagura slightly shocked.

"I didn't know Umibouzu had a son!" Kyuubei exclaimed

"Uh he doesn't talk about me much." Kagura rubs the back of her head and hopes they buy it.

"Oi Kagura!" Gin calls from the bokuto, "Why did you say your name was 'Gura'? If you had waited for me to come up with something, then you wouldn't be stuck with something as lame as 'Gura'!"

That instantly angered Kagura and she pulled out the bokuto and started to slam it on the ground, also injuring Gin. "Shut up! You damn useless guardian! KOORRRAAA!"

"I can see why, the boy's an absolute lunatic." Kyuubei says to Okita, who is staring at Kagura with his trademark deadpanned look.

"Ok gentlemen,"

This catches the attention of all the soldiers and Kagura, who stops slammin poor bokuto-Gin to the ground.

"thanks to your new friend Gura, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice." Okita stares at the crowd of soldiers with a sadistic grin, "Tomorrow, the real work begins." He sadistically grins at Kagura and goes back in his tent.

Kyuubei also leaves in the direction of her tent.

Kagura gulps and also looks back and sees the three soldiers who were chasing her earlier giving her death glares.

"You know we have to work on your people skills." Gin says again, still in his bokuto form.

A huge anger mark appears on Kagura's head and she picks up the bokuto-Gin.

"Eh? Huh? What are you-"

Kagura then chucks him far away and high into the sky without a word. She goes back to picking up rice and can still hear Gin screaming for his life.

**Ok! So sorry for the huge wait! I had a super busy weekend and luckily this chapter was almost done so I decided to finish it off! Just a quick notice, this story might take slightly longer to update than my others since I have to adopt the Gintama characters into the Mulan characters, so I do have to add and change the original Mulan dialogue abit, so I just ask if you'd all be patient with this one .! I have a lot of scholarship stuff due so don't hate me if I disappear for a while! I'll do my best so hang on tight peeps! Ja nee~**


End file.
